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Dealing With Root Causes
In the longer term, it can help to look at what the root causes of your anxiety are. It may be helpful to work through the questions below.
Don't stop there, though. Let them inspire you to think of questions to ask yourself. These might help you get to the bottom of things (you know yourself better than anyone, after all!)
Q1. What's going on in your life right now that might be causing you to worry?
Try and think of a range of things - even those that feel quite small. Often, we can become anxious when there are lots of different things that we have to cope with. You may want to write them down in a list and mark out which are the most stressful for you at the moment.
"There are lots of things going on at the moment. I'm worried that my boyfriend doesn't really like me and my parents are arguing all the time. I don't feel like I can talk to my friends. I feel like I'm going to explode"
Q2. Are there things in your past that are troubling you?
Most of us have been through things that have caused us stress or worry. These things can shape us and make us stronger, but it can also cause problems if we've not had the right support to get through it. So, even if life feels pretty good now it's worth thinking about whether there's anything that you've faced in the past that may be adding to your anxiety.
"A few years ago I was bullied by a group of girls from school. Nothing physical, but they made me feel so small and stupid. I still get stressed out just thinking about it"
Q3. What happens just before you start to feel anxious?
Working out what triggers feelings of anxiety and worry can really help. If you're not sure, you could try keeping a diary. Write an entry every time you feel more anxious - note down what you were doing, how you felt and what you did next. Look through it with someone you trust - you might find some patterns that will help.
"Tuesday 5pm, about to leave the house to see Andy. Thoughts: I was worried about getting the train. The voices get worse when I'm around lots of people. Feelings: I got butterflies in my stomach, felt sick and felt like I couldn't breathe. The voices were laughing. Actions: I called Andy to cancel.".
Q4. What skills, talents and abilities help you get through all this?
We all have ways of dealing with things. In our experience, people who feel really anxious might forget just how strong they really are. It's easy to lose sight of the things that make you the person you are. So, why not make a list of all the things about you that are good, strong and unique.
If it's really hard to think of the good things, ask someone who knows you well. Other people can often see things about ourselves that we miss.
"I care about people. I try and help when I can. I love music and writing. I can sometimes make my friends laugh. I try and look after the environment. I am good with computers"
Q5. What would you like your life to be like?
It's easy to get stuck in thinking about how bad things are at the moment. Dreaming is important, though. If we don't have dreams it's much harder to do the things we need to do to deal with anxiety.
You could start with thinking about what you'd like to be doing in six months time. What would you like to feel like? Who would you like to be in your life? If this is very different from how things are right now - that's ok. Use the next question to plan some simple steps that will help you get there.
"I'd like to feel good about myself. I'd like to be with my friends more and have some fun. I'd like to get into a band and play gigs"
Q6. What changes can you make in your life that might help?
Making changes in our lives can seem really impossible sometimes. It doesn't have to be that hard, though. If you take it step by step, making small changes, you might find it's easier than you thought.
If you wrote a list of the things that are worrying you, you can go through this and choose the one that might be the easiest to change first. Look at what the problem is, what you want to change, and what steps you might take to do this.
You don't have to do this alone. You can ask a friend, family member or another supporter to help. There are lots of website, organisations and people who can help with certain types of problems. If you're not sure where to look, ring Childline (0800 11 11) or Get Connected (0808 808 4994).
"I'm really worried about failing my exams. I can't concentrate because the voices are yelling at me and I'm sure the teacher thinks I'm stupid. I could speak to my teacher and tell them I've got things going on and am having problems concentrating. It might help to ask him what would happen if I did fail. I could try something from the chilling out section too."
Q7. Is there someone you could talk to about things?
Talking is an excellent coping strategy that many of us use when we're not feeling good about things. When you have thought about the questions above it might help to talk over the answers with a friend, parent, counsellor or someone else you trust.
If you don't feel able to talk to someone you know, you can always ring a helpline (including Childline, Get Connected or Connexions Direct), come to a Voice Collective peer support group or get in touch with a local support organisation.
Would you like to add something to this list, or tell us something that has worked for you - email: info@voicecollective.co.uk
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