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Chilling Out
Why can it help?
When you feel really stressed out it can have a huge effect on your body and mind.
You might notice changes in your body (breathing fast, dizziness, your heart beating faster and feeling sick). You might feel scared, paranoid, out of control, as if people are looking at you, as if you can't cope or as if you want to hide.
"I really hate travelling on the tube. I get really stressed out and think people are reading my mind. The voices get on the bandwagon too, telling me that i'm in danger. It all spirals."
As frightening as these feelings can be, they're normal reactions to anxiety - you're not the only one who feels like this.
Finding ways of relaxing and chilling out when you feel really anxious isn't easy. In fact it's often the last thing people think about doing. Still, finding ways to relax that work for you can be the key to beating the stress and feeling more in control.
How can I do it?
Everyone's different, we all relax in different ways. The more you know about what makes you feel safe and chilled out, the easier it is to find new ways of doing this.
Ask yourself some questions. When was the last time you felt chilled out or safe? Where where you? What were you doing? Who were you with? If you can't think of ever feeling chilled out, don't worry - look at the list below and see if any of them appeal to you.
Write a list of the things you want to try when you're stressed out. Next time you're feeling anxious, choose the one that suits you. It might sound strange, but chilling out is a skill and can take practice. If it doesn't work first time, don't give up. It's worth keeping going with this, and it DOES get easier.
What can I do?
Here are a few ideas:
Listen to music: Music can be a great way to relax. Different types of music can help with different moods. Some people need chilled out acoustic music when they're anxious, but others find metal or rock works best. Experiment - find out what works for you.
Have a relaxing bubble bath: Warm water and comforting scents can be really good at helping people relax. Experiment with different types until you find the one that works best for you - there are lots around.
Hug someone you trust: If you need it, it's ok to ask a friend or family member for a hug. Sometimes it helps more than words can.
Give yourself a massage: There are lots of ways you can massage yourself. It might sound weird, but it can actually work really well.
Find a ritual that calms you down: A ritual is simply something you do that always follows the same pattern. What you choose is up to you - it could be making a cup of hot chocolate, arranging your books/CDs, playing scales on your guitar or keyboard, practicing tai chi/yoga, using chinese meditation balls or reading a reassuring poem or story.
Prayers and mantras: If you have a faith, prayer can be a powerful way of finding a sense of calm and balance. If you don't have a faith, or want to try something different, you could write a short mantra and speak (or read) it aloud again and again.
If you hear voices that say nasty things about you, it can help if your mantra says good things about you. Imagine you were feeling stressed out by voices that are saying you're a bad person and that your friends hate you. Your mantra could be 'I'm a good person. My friends know me and like me'.
Go to a place you feel safe in: Working out where you feel the most safe is really helpful if you're feeling really stressed out and overwhelmed. This might be at home, your bedroom, a youth centre, a library or somewhere else.
Create a safe corner: If you don't feel safe in your room, you can create a safe corner. Decorate it with anything that makes you feel better (this could include cushions, posters and things that remind you of good times).
Rolling with it: Anxiety can sometime be helpful - it's our body's way of preparing us for things we're worried about (like exams or moving house). Instead of seeing it as the enemy, it can be good to accept some worry as a natural reaction to stress and allow it to pass with time.
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