< Intro | Express Yourself | Calming Down | The Roots >
Introduction
OK, so hopefully you've looked at some ways of expressing the way you feel and calming yourself down. These coping strategies can really help you manage the way your angry feelings. If you find yourself becoming angry allot, or if you're hearing voices that are angry, it can be a signal there's something bigger going on.
Have a think about the following questions. It can really help to talk them over with someone you trust (a good friend, parent, teacher, mentor or someone else).
Q1. What's the problem?
When we feel angry, the way we think and feel can get all jumbled up and it can be hard to think straight. It can help to spend some time working out what it was that made you feel angry.
Try and be as detailed as possible. What happened? What did you feel? What did you think?
My dad told me to wash the dishes, but I told him I’d do it later. He acted like he didn’t think I would. I felt like he thinks I’m lazy and doesn’t get how hard it is for me. My voices started yelling at me too and it all got too much
If you can start to keep a diary of these times you should start to notice some themes and patterns. Common ones are: feeling guilty, feeling misunderstood, feeling attacked and feeling like people are being unfair to you.
Q2. Thinking of ways of dealing with the problem
There are lots of ways of seeing, and dealing with, things that trouble us. Once you've worked out some of the things that tend to make you angry, it can help to think through some different ways of dealing with it. You don't have to do this on your own - in fact it can really help to talk through ideas with someone you trust. If you're not sure who to talk to, try ringing Childline (0800 11 11) for advice.
Try and keep an open mind, writing down lots of different ideas of handling the situation. At the moment the important thing is to see that there are options here.
Q3. Weigh up the possibilities
Once you've got a list, it's time to go through it and think of the pros and cons of each idea. Think about the impact it'd have on you, what you want to do and the people around you.
Circle the ideas that, after you've thought about it, seem like the most helpful.
Q4. Start planning
Now you've decided of a way of handling the problem, it's time to start planning how you can do it. Think: what is it I want to do? what steps do I need to take? who can help me? what do I need? what can I do right now? This is all about taking some control back.
For example, if the reason you're feeling angry is that you're being bullied at school but no one seems to care you might decide to:
- Ring childline to talk through how you're feeling
- Tell your parents, family or the school nurse
- If you've got a friend you trust, tell them how it's affecting you and ask if they can help by sticking with you. Bullies are often worse if you're on your own.
- Keep a record of everything that happens
- Find out your school's policy on bullying - every school should have one
- Get in touch with, or ask about setting up, a peer support project for other young people who are being bullied too
- Practice some ways of expressing how you're feeling and chilling out to help you cope with how you're feeling
Again, don't feel you need to do this alone. There are lots of people who will be happy to help you work things out.
< Intro | Express Yourself | Calming Down | The Roots >